


Hard Times

by buying_the_space_farm



Series: Gift and Prompt Fics [1]
Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Ficlet, Gen, Introspection, POV First Person, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Prompt Fic, it killed me but was necessary
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-18
Updated: 2017-05-18
Packaged: 2018-11-02 02:58:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 453
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10935576
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/buying_the_space_farm/pseuds/buying_the_space_farm
Summary: Tony thinks on his life.





	Hard Times

**Author's Note:**

> Prompted from a writing ask, where i put my music library on shuffle, and write something based off of it.

It’s a wonder I haven’t died yet, honestly. 

I’ve hit rock bottom so many times, thought about ending it a few times there too, but I always had someone to pull me back out. First it was Jarvis- human Jarvis, the first edition, one could say. Then it was Rhodey, but, well, it’s pretty hard to pull your friend out of a hole when you are just as deep. Pepper- Pepper.

Pepper was there for so many years, helped me get out of so many holes that I’d dug myself, with my own two hands, and now-

Now she’s gone.

Hard times doesn’t even begin to cover where I am right now.

Cap and the rest of the gang leaving just. It solidified a– a big thing for me I guess. That. That I can’t fix anything that doesn’t involve science, or mechanical engineering, or any of the shit I’m actually good at.

No. It takes the interpersonal relationship building that I could hardly get with my own parents, so how the hell am I supposed to be able to do it with people I’ve known for a handful of years? Barely comparable to the rest of their lifetimes in some cases.

Guess it makes sense that Thor never showed up this time.

To him, we’re a bunch of fruit flies- dying off in weeks, and breeding like no tomorrow. Constant change, constant flux, no relaxation, just rush, rush, _rush._

I’ve finally hit rock bottom.

No tunnels to gently guide me to the surface, no repulsors to blast me to fresh air. Just. Just me. And determination that’s slowly crumbling and fading.

Except– there’s so much that I need to do still. So much that I can’t just let go.

I need to help Rhodey-bear and Peter– they need me. I haven’t been needed in a long time, and that is. It’s a strange feeling, to be sure. I mean, I was always wanted for my money, or fame, or the ideas and weapons I could come up with, but never _me_. It’s. Nice, in a way.

Sure, they’re not gonna need me forever- Rhodey will be back in ship-shape in no time, and pretty soon Spidey-boy is gonna be graduating college, but. 

For now, they’ll be enough to distract me from the quicksand that seems to be constantly sucking at my feet, even though I can’t get any lower. But then, the weight of the world will do that to you.

Maybe they’ll help get rid of that one day. Maybe I’ll have finally trusted the right people. For now though-

For now, I’ll just have to stare with longing at the speck of light above me, and hope for the best.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for the read! Hope it wasn't too bad alkhdf. wrote this at abt 1 am klashdf


End file.
